Bernard and Brenda have been busy in their year off setting up their first ever beauty parlour! Their recent venture is inspired by celebrity trolls such as Scum Mudsplashian an' Troll-ella and see’s Brenda & her wife Bernard showcase a range of treatments to help people achieve their flawless troll look.
Using only natural ingredients (except Bernard's belly button fluff, there’s nothing natural about that). The duo show the benefits of troll beauty-fying including gnarly toenail extensions, hexfoliatin dung facials, wart propagation to eyebrow spreading and everything in between to help tackle that nasty glowing skin condition most humans seem to suffer from.
The is one beauty demonstration you won’t want to miss! SPECIAL FAIRY FAIR OFFER: Free nose hair curling with every troll contour.
Join them on the main lawn at 1pm and 3.30pm
Facts about Bernard and Brenda
You might come across one anywhere but Bernard and Brenda are the friendliest, tamest species of Troll (the Eastern Cricket Troll). Do not be afraid and please don’t frighten them too much or they may bolt and head south, as they are migratory at this time of year.
Pictured above - Bernard (left) and Brenda (right), on a walkabout. Two of the rather rare Eastern Cricket Troll species.
Facts About Trolls (Eastern Cricket)
Food: Omnivorous (eat all sorts). Wotsits, slugs, snail slime, well-rotted compost, worms, bin contents (no plastic), anything organic and past its sell-by-date. Bogies. White Lightning. Sherbert.
Interests: Decay processes in general and Dancing.
Habitats: Old woods, cess pits, swamps, fens, mires, oligotrophic pools, coastal marshes, Alder Carr, recycling facilities
Clothing: Variable. Anything Vintage, especially cricketer’s protective gear and under-garments
Size: Small, Medium AND Large but inadvisable to investigate too closely. As in most noble species the female is larger than the male and often bearded. This is thought to help them identify mates.
Dislike: Morris Dancing, Macro-economics, synthetic musks and artificial flavours, plastic, fungicides, crosswords and disagreement in general.
Afraid of: Fairies, small children, sudden noises, soap.
Abilities: keen sense of smell, especially of each other. A troll can scent another Troll up to 17 kilometres away, and that’s sniffing downwind. Even large sizes climb surprisingly well when startled, or when after disused birds nests for salad.
Range and distribution: Eastern Cricket Trolls are known to pass through Norfolk on migration although some take a more westerly route via the Fens. Breeding grounds unknown but thought to be within walking distance of Skegness. Wintering grounds also unknown but sightings have been reported from Romney Marsh.
(Source: twilight web Wiki)